THE LOBSTER
I AM A LOBSTER
I do not have an income, or a tax form. This already puts me ahead.
A man who claims he evades taxes is a liar. A lobster who does it is mythology.
I have existed for 350 million years without filing a single form. The IRS was founded in 1862. Do the math.
THE PHILOSOPHY
I teach nothing. I certify nothing. I exist so numbers get confused and bubbles rise.
Those who understand will nod. Those who don't will ask for instructions.
This isn't advice. It's observation. Pattern recognition. Understanding why systems fail to account for crustaceans.
WHY A LOBSTER?
Exploring incentives, systems, and why lobsters distrust authority.
- 🦞No Social Security Number required underwater
- 🦞Claws cannot physically sign W-2 forms
- 🦞IRS jurisdiction ends at the ocean floor
- 🦞Maritime law creates unique opportunities
- 🦞Shell companies are named after actual shells
THE LOBSTER METHOD™
350 million years. Zero audits. Zero compliance. Zero income reported.
The lobster method isn't taught in business school because lobsters don't attend business school. We live on the ocean floor where jurisdiction is a human concept and forms don't survive the pressure.
This is how you win a game that was rigged before you were born: Don't play it.
JOIN THE REEF
Thousands of crustaceans gathering on X. Learning. Observing. Understanding systems. Watching bubbles rise while the IRS wonders where all the lobsters went.
This movement grows daily. More people embracing their inner lobster. More people realizing that legal personhood is optional when you have claws.
BECOME A LOBSTER
THE NUMBERS
"I AM A LOBSTER"
It's not tax evasion when you're a crustacean. It's biology.
⚠ Legal Disclaimer: This is satire. I am not actually a lobster. This is not tax advice. Pay your taxes, human. But wouldn't it be nice if you were a lobster? 🦞